TML: Lady Rule

I’ve got a case of the Monday’s. It seems that so far today has been more… blah than usual. I’m not my usual bubbly self. It could be because yesterday/last night brought up things that I haven’t really faced in a while, and aunt flow is on her way out. I’m actually almost positive that’s why I’m feeling this way. Anyways, it’s time for a Lady Rule. Since I’m feeling quite low, I figure this Lady Rule is pretty perfect for the time.

We’ve always been taught to be polite and courteous to others, but what happens when you find yourself being a doormat rather than a friend or coworker? What happens when you find your kindness is being taken advantage of? What happens when you’ve given the best you could, yet people still fill you with guilt? What happens when you realize you lost your happiness? If you’re a submissive, like I used to be, nothing. You let yourself be taken advantage of, without speaking up. You start feeling used, but stuck. You want to fly away, but you’ve done nothing for so long, your wings are weak. A Lady stands up for herself, always.

Here’s a little story about a Lady. She had a heart of gold, always smiling, never meaning to hurt anyone. She knew what it was like to have feelings hurt, to be bullied. She never liked causing people to feel that way. She had a tough shell, mainly because she used to be mean. In the past she wasn’t happy with herself, so she took it out on other people. She was changing her ways though, she was beginning to be happier with herself. Once she was at her peak, her happiest she’s been since being a child, things took a turn. As they usually do. This was definitely one of the worst things that she can remember happening to her. What happened is a story for another time though. After the event, she began helping people who were also effected by what happened. Months after the fact she was still helping one friend. Helping this friend seemed to do more damage to her than it did good for him. She started pulling herself away, she needed to get better herself. Finally, as polite as she could be, she told her friend that she couldn’t help anymore not only because it was hurting her, but he wasn’t making any effort to help himself. This lady recognized that in being so nice, she was being taken advantage of. She had to stand up for herself or she was going to spiral down into the negative life she used to.

This brings me to Lady Rule Number Two: A Lady always stands up for herself.

Yes, we’re taught to be polite and help others as much as possible, but helping someone can only be done if the person wants to help themselves too. There’s a point where helping someone isn’t helping anymore. When I help people, I usually feel good. When I was helping the person above, yes the story was about me, I felt guilt. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders. When I was busy, or couldn’t answer his calls, he would call my friends looking for me. He even showed up at another friends house looking for me. He went to the place I used to work looking for me. If I didn’t answer a phone call, he would leave a voicemail making me feel guilty. Helping this person made me feel unsafe, and uncomfortable. I was very uneasy around him, it was a bad situation. This person basically wanted to suck my happiness from me and I almost let him. Being a lady, I had to do what was best for me. I’m the one that has to live with myself every day. Ladies need to realize this; you can stand up for yourself and still be polite. Ladies please realize when people, especially men, try to manipulate you, if someone says you’re a ‘bitch’ for standing up for yourself then I guess I’m okay with being a bitch. Another thing ladies need to realize is we are the only ones who have to live with our choices. You may feel guilty for not helping someone and you may feel bad for standing up for yourself, but you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t feel guilty for bettering your situation.

The Modern Lady’s Rule Number Two: A Lady always stands up for herself.

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xxx The Modern Lady.

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About The Modern Lady's Guide

We've all heard them before, our mothers taught us, our aunts warned us, and our grandmothers led the way. The Modern Lady's Guide is bringing the old rules up-to-date. Because let's face it, if we can update our phones, hair-styles, and wardrobes, we better be able to update our rule book. So go grab a beer, and get to reading.
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