“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”
This quote, or phrase, has always bothered me. Honestly, it makes no sense to me. I believe, in order to create yourself, you have to find yourself. I mean, sure, you can create yourself without finding yourself. I’ve tried it, unsuccessfully. The reason I believe finding yourself before creating yourself is simple. When you know who you are and what you believe in, you can create yourself into the most successful version of you.
What are you passionate about? I used to fear that very question. I used to have no idea what I was passionate about. I mean, I liked things, but I never knew what exactly was my passion. On my recent trip, I figured it out a bit. I’m passionate about make-up. I always have been, but didn’t understand the extent of it until my road trip. Ever since I was 13 I was watching YouTube guru’s, admiring their skills, collections, and set-ups. The tutorials, hauls, reviews, everything. I was fascinated. I started practicing and building up my own collection after a few years of watching these videos. Eventually, I worked my way to actually becoming a make-up artist for a well-known company you can find at most upscale department stores, along with their own boutiques. I was very proud of myself, I loved doing make-up, I loved teaching people little tips and tricks and how to apply make-up, I loved playing with make-up, I loved helping people feel beautiful and flawless. Not to mention, I loved experimenting on myself. I still love all of these things, but let me tell you, working at a department store counter can really… take away a lot of the fun make-up is supposed to have. Now I’m not going to badmouth any company or anything of the sort. I’m just saying, I was employed as a make-up artist for the company in the store. Not a sales associate for the department store. I was still freshly 18 when I started this position, but I learned so much from the company that I worked for. On top of taking classes with the company, I was mentored by my manager very intently, and although she could be very tough sometimes, (yes, I’ve cried because of her), she taught me things I would have never thought of on my own. Or even in the videos I watched on YouTube. Have you ever had to create an entire face with only using different shades of foundation? I have. I stayed with the company for over two years, but life happens. Remember how I said I’m the best at dating assholes? Yeah. I gave up a job directly in the field I wanted, to move away for a stupid boy. The worst relationship I’ve ever been in to this day. Literally ruined me and my confidence and made me question everything, I honestly lost myself. It was awful, but because of it, I found myself, and I now know what I never want in my life again.
So fast forward to me driving to Nashville, pondering things. Before I left I had just refurnished my room and set my vanity up how I’ve always dreamed of it, and started this blog! (Another thing I’ve always wanted to do. And once I get this going, I’m going to try YouTube as well!) As I was driving I was thinking about how much I love my collection, how excited I am to be doing things I’ve always wanted to, how blessed I am to have something I’ve always dreamed of, how I missed having the opportunity to do someone else’s make-up everyday. As I said, I’ve always had an obsession with make-up, but for a while after leaving the company I was with, I hated doing other peoples make-up. I forgot how much I missed doing make-up on others as soon as my best friend asked me to do her make-up. I was so happy, she’s always been my guinea pig. You have no idea how good it felt to do her make-up, and show her and the gasp of excitement she responded with followed by a “damn girl!” I missed that! I’ve always been told I’m really good at the art of make-up, but the reaction the client gives you really boosts your confidence up. Just doing my make-up daily takes away a lot of my morning stress and makes me really excited for my day and boosts my confidence.
What I’m trying to get at, is finding yourself isn’t easy. It takes a lot of failure, and a lot of going back and forth. If you aren’t sure what you’re passionate about, start with that. Find a passion, and run with it. The vibes you’ll get from doing something you love everyday will motivate to keep going in other aspects of your life. I’m still in the process of finding and creating myself, but it’s a fun journey! You are the only thing holding you back. You are the only one that can actually change your life, you just have to take the first step.
I challenge you to find out what you’re passionate about, and tell me about it. Brag to me about how good it makes you feel and how long it took you to figure out what exactly is your passion.
xxx The Modern Lady.